Fake It 'til You Make It!

 Isn't it interesting the people who affect you the most in life? I know "fake it 'til you make it" is a common saying, but when I hear it I am reminded of a coach I had in college. A coach I really disliked. 

The feeling was mutual. 

It was one of those situations where if girls weren't boated the way they wanted they would joke that the coach must hate them. All it took was a well timed look from me and everyone would agree - "Yeah she really doesn't like you Sofia." 

I still have no idea what I did to piss this woman off. But her constant attempts to punish me were what caused the most growth in my rowing career. I was demoted weekly, several times practicing with the freshmen men or being forced to row myself. Being forced into all these different environments also forced me to broaden my skills. It is easy to get good rowers to row well. It is a lot harder to get the fourth varsity boat to beat the third varsity on race day on the Snake River. Even harder to get the opposing team's coach to go out of her way to tell your coach that if you were on her team - you would be in her top boat. But I digress. 

I remember this woman loved to give the advice "fake it 'til you make it" and there are times when this is the best advice ever. 

Today is one of those days. 

I could feel a pity party coming on, so I decided it was time to cheer myself up with some good old fashioned man repelling. I strapped on some cute sandal wedges, threw on a skirt, a cute top and headed out with my hair freshly washed, face scrubbed and *gasp* both mascara and lip gloss adorn my face. 

People - this is big time adult put togetherness for me.  

If it were an ideal Satuday when I hopped out of the shower I would have adorned my PURPLE and GOLD and headed to the Duch to watch the Huskies get annihilated by cream LSU.  

Instead I moseyed on over to TeBella on Davis Island.   

Talk about cuteness overload. 

I am already feeling so much better, sitting at a white marble built in blogging to all you peoples, drinking a white coconut iced tea. 

See that flower on the shirt?! Yeah it's a big pin covered in sparkly beads and threaded details. I think that qualifies as a man repeller - no? 

Yesterday at our clinic meeting I realized I have way more work to do than I thought. I have an oral mech procedure and teeth to memorize, protocols to practice scoring, supplies to buy and panic attacks to be had. Also we finally have some transcription practice to do for phonology. I am excited to stay staked out at the joint and get some of this work done.

Then I get to go pick up my scrubs this afternoon. 

Think of how much fun that photo shoot is going to be.

Speaking of photos - I have forgotten to share this gem with you:

That's me in the green hat post my first ever open water swim in the Gulf. This week I joined to USF Triathlon team and signed up for my first even Olympic distance race. Yep, that means that I will swim .9 miles, bike 24.8 miles and run 6.2 miles -- in TWO WEEKS. Yikes. The event is down in Miami the day before my 25th birthday. Little athletic prezzie to myself!! 

I figured out this morning how to plot swims on google maps (I feel like a technological genius now) so here is an image of our swim last night: 

We swam out to a nautical buoy then swam down five, turned around and came back. When I zoomed it I selected the buoy we started at and counted out 5... I assume this was taken recently enough to represent the buoys we swam between. I had a lot of fun, but I have never been as sea sick swimming as I was yesterday. There were some pretty massive waves. Twice I turned to breathe and a wave caught my arm and flipped me over onto by back!! I have been assured that the water in Miami is was more protected and as such should stay a lot flatter. We shall see. The swim took us an hour, but we stopped to re-conviene and check in with each other at every buoy (approximately every 200m). So without stopping and with calmer water I am sure I will be able to post a decent time on the swim. My goal is to finish in 4 hours! 

 I know what you are thinking she has only told us about these amazing things, so why the pity party and the faking it 'til she makes it? 

Well... as things start to slow down I am starting to miss home like crazy. It is starting to sink in just how very far away I am. A little bit I am feeling like a crazy person who banished herself to the corner of the country. A few relationships I have made down here haven't gone the way I'd expected so my feelings (and probably a bit of my ego) are hurt. I am a confident, outgoing, adventurous gal but sometimes I let my insecurities get the best of me. I'm feeling a bit flooded with self doubt right now. There is a voice inside screaming at me about how stupid that is. And that girl is so right. But I am just not quite there yet, so I'm faking it until I make it. 

I plan on treating myself to an awesome weekend. I will find a bar to watch the Husky game tonight, I will clean my room and I will do some apartment crafting to finally give us a coffee table (and perhaps it is time for a bedside table/lamp/alarm clock?!). Tomorrow I plan on seeing how long it takes me to bike 25 miles and then practicing the transition to running. Wish me luck. I'm sure after that I will have earned some brunch. Probably I'll have to finish the day studying, but that isn't really a have to when you are as excited as I am about your field. 

So that is the plan. I'm staying busy (what else is new?!) and going to keep smiling even when I feel like crying.

What cheers you up when you have to fake it 'til you make it? Have you ever done a triathlon? Any tips/hints for this newbie? 

xoxo Sweat&Sparkle