Yep, I cried this morning after CrossFit.
The only good part was I waited until I got into my car, so I didn't completely embarrass myself. This isn't a new thing. When I first joined CFPD back in January I left in tears for the first two or three four weeks. I would walk the half mile home bawling because I was so annoyed with how far behind everyone else I was. Now I am upset because I am weaker. Being in a box is hard too because the style is so different. Subtle things are done differently and seeing as how this is only my second WOD at CF813 I clearly don't have everything down yet.
I know I'm being too hard on myself.
Starting all over is hard. Moving to Tampa in general has been a fresh start, but I had plans and strategies for making friends and finding community. Since I'd planned on giving up CrossFit I didn't have a plan for how I would enter a new box or maintain my skills. I feel lost, frustrated and annoyed. Just as I had to learn how to be patient making friends, I think I'm going to have to learn to be patient with CrossFit. It will take a while to get back the gains I made earlier in the year. The good news? The strength and technique will return. And unlike forming new friendships, strength training is something I can control.
I will get out whatever I put in.
Which is motivating and reassuring. The bar doesn't have to like my personality or think my jokes are funny. I don't have to wait for the bar to call me back or to invite me to dinner. The bar will be there everyday no matter what. I'm in complete control of my relationship with the bar.
And that rocks.
It is going to take a couple weeks, but I can't wait to get my confidence back.
This is the frame of mind I need to have.
Because I am awesome. It isn't even ten am and I've already completed an hour of CrossFit, have plans to take my bike out for the first time with my clips and am going to make an appearance at Running for Brews tonight so Johnny can announce (for the second time) that I am the new SOCIAL AMBASSADOR!!
So really today is pretty awesome and I'm happy to have a body that allows me to do all the fitness activities I love.
{Oh, you want to know what the WOD was?!}
I modified the Handstand Push-ups (HSPU) to the box. Back in Portland we did modified box HSPU's from our knees. Today was my first day doing it from my toes. So. Much. Harder. Also did the hang squat cleans at 55lbs. I know I went slow thinking a lot about technique. Which is good, but also bad. I need to trust my body a little bit more, that is when I find that my technique is the best. Believe it or not I usually over-think olympic lifts and end up doing them wrong! The whole WOD took me 11:14. It was a balmy 70 degrees, but I was pouring sweat by the end.
Like I said ready to test my bike out today with the new pedals/clip shoes. Here's to hoping the falls a few and the scrapes minimal!
xoxo Sweat&Sparkle
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